Nine Lives
by xmoonlightxdreamsx
Summary: Daryl's thoughts after Joe's 'cat' statement. He reflects on himself, and on Carol. Will they find their way back to each other? Will they be able to overcome the demons they're both carrying? CARYL
1. Chapter 1

AN: The statement that Joe made to Daryl about an outdoor cat thinking he's an indoor cat has been sitting with me all week. Realization dawned on me, as I made a little connection. Cats, nine lives, Carol, and I knew I had to write something to fix the incessant voices in my head. Daryl was in there, pining for Carol, and thus, I had to let him out. I was going to keep most of the focus on Carol, but Daryl ended up wanting to share more about himself.

If you're not a writer, then I suppose I sound completely insane right now, lol. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy this. For now, it's a one-shot. If the voices start nagging me again, I might continue it, but don't get your hopes up.

As for my other story, Stay Safe, I was going to work on that, but this popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone. If you're a Caryl shipper and haven't already, you should check it out. (wink wink, nudge nudge) I hope to have the next chapter up either today or tomorrow, hopefully. It's already mostly written, I just have to go through and make it into something that's actually readable. A huge thank you to everyone who has read it so far, and to you, who is reading right now. :)

Enough with the babbling, and onto the story:

* * *

"Ain't nothin' sadder than an outdoor cat thinks he's an indoor cat."

Daryl didn't feel the need to answer to the older man, but instead contemplated on the statement he knew was directed at him.

He had always been on the outside, and hadn't minded. That was just the way life was. Some people got to live in nice houses with picket fences, go on vacations and eat fro-yo. Then there were others that were living in trailers, with moms and dads that liked to drink and do drugs and beat their children, who were often left to fend for themselves. Daryl never sat down to a ''home-cooked meal,'' where his family sat around a big table, passing plates and chatting about their day.

Instead, he'd come home from being in the woods, trying to catch a rabbit or squirrel for dinner, hoping his parents wouldn't be home, or at the very least be passed out on the couch in front of the old TV with rabbit ears, and Merle would be out getting into trouble, following in their parent's booze and drug laden steps.

Merle wasn't really that bad though, he was all Daryl had left after his ma burned the trailer down with herself in it, and their dad drove himself into a tree, trying to come home from the bar one night. Daryl didn't know what else to do, so he became his brother's shadow. Dixons didn't go to college. They didn't get the nice cushy, stable jobs that gave a decent paycheck each week. They didn't settle down, get married and have two and a half kids.

Dixons were worthless. That had been beaten into Daryl throughout his life. Dixons were never good enough, they'd never amount to anything. So, he and Merle drifted from town to town, picking up odd jobs, with Daryl having to bail Merle out of jail every so often, and living the only way they knew how, struggling to survive in a world that had never believed in them, or given them a chance.

Then everything went to shit, and it was still him and Merle, still struggling to survive. Then they came upon the quarry, and Daryl recalled how his brother had wanted to steal their supplies. Daryl was hesitant, somehow he had grown up with more scruples than his brother had, more of a conscience. Someone had to bail Merle's ass out of jail all the time, and Daryl couldn't very well do that if he was in there with him.

The quarry.

_Carol._

The thought of her hit him with a huge wave of pain. Aside from himself, she was the one that had changed the most, and he'd been there to witness it. She was no longer the meek and timid mouse they had met at the quarry.

"_Nine lives, remember?'' _Carol's soft voice entered his head.

She wasn't lying when she had said that to him, after begging her with that small, simple phrase to _''stay safe.'' _The woman might have had even more lives than that, she'd been through so much.

Beth had said he'd be the last man standing, but she was wrong. He didn't want to be the last man standing. He didn't want to be _alone. _He could live with being the last man standing, as long as the last woman standing would be by his side.

He knew she had to be alive, somewhere out there. She had been struggling to survive before the turn, just like he had. Her strength had always been there, just like his, but hers was more latent. It was hidden behind Ed's threats, and her fight to keep Sophia safe. She survived the things that were supposed to make a person weak, but they had all just made her that much stronger. They made her more prepared for this new world.

Daryl had to take a bit of pride in that, knowing that he had helped, at least in part, to draw that strength out of her, in much the same way that she forced him to see himself as more than a worthless redneck. Their backgrounds were different, but their damage the same. That's what drew them together, helped them bond so effortlessly.

She had helped him to become acclimated to the group. She made him, for the first time in his life, feel like he _belonged_ somewhere. She made him feel like he was _part of a family, part of __**her family.**_

That's who Carol was though. She was always looking after everyone. Protecting everyone. Everyone had mistook her pain and suffering for weakness, when it had really been building her up. Building her into something more than what she was, building her into who she was supposed to become. The scars that marred her physically and emotionally had hardened her, but they had also opened her heart further, making it stronger. The pain she had suffered made her more sympathetic, more compassionate.

The combination of these things were what made her strong. She knew what needed to get done, and she did it, always looking after the good of the group, even if it meant she had to sacrifice. Sacrifice her nights to taking care of Judith because Rick had just completely broken down. Sacrifice her portions of food to those she thought needed it more. Sacrificed her few, rare moments of peace making sure everyone else was okay. Making sure that if they needed to talk to someone, she was available.

Everyone had taken her for granted, and he was no exception. He promised himself then and there, that when, not if, he found her, he wouldn't take her for granted as much as had in the past. He would make sure he took greater care of her, like she did for everyone else.

The wave of pain morphed into a wave of hope. She was out there, somewhere, and he would find her. After all, they were going to be the last ones standing.

* * *

AN2: I'm not happy with the ending, but can't think of anything better at the moment.

'Til next time...


	2. Chapter 2

This was going to be another one-shot...Then I realized that it kind of fits with the previous chapter, so I've decided to give it a shot and try to continue this.

* * *

"_What if I killed you? What if I killed you?" Lizzie screamed at Carol. _

_The next thing she saw was Mika's body, Lizzie's blood-covered hands..._

"_She can't even walk," she choked out through a sob._

"_I'm sorry I pointed the gun at you!''_

_A gunshot._

_A scream._

Carol felt a warm hand on her shoulder, squeezing it in a comforting manner. _Daryl. _That was her first thought before the after effects of sleep had faded away and she regained consciousness. Not Daryl, she hadn't seen Daryl in...It hurt her to think of how long it had been. She had no idea where he was, and the thought terrified her.

She knew he was alive. He had to be. He was a fighter, a survivor, like her. She just didn't know how he was surviving, what he was doing. The walkers were far from their only threat in this new world.

"You alright?" Tyreese asked, worry evident on his face and written in his eyes. His hand was still on her shoulder, holding a sleeping Judith in his other arm. It had been a week, since everything at the grove, and she was still having the same nightmares every time she had actually been able to fall asleep.

"I'm fine," Carol muttered. It seemed that was the story of her life, that phrase that she so often found herself having to repeat. _I'm fine. _

What a big fat lie.

It always was. To her parents, to those who questioned her about Ed and their marriage. To members of their group, so she wouldn't feel like a burden. Now to Tyreese, who was only trying to help her.

She knew he had nightmares of his own, even though he hadn't pulled the trigger. He had been with Lizzie, Mika, and Judith for longer than she had. He had been with them and not recognized the warning signs Lizzie was giving out. He saw what she did to Mika. What she would have done to Judith.

Not only that, but Carol was sure that even after her confession, Tyreese still dreamt of Karen. Even though he had forgiven her, he was still haunted. Anyone who had survived this far had experienced loss, but it didn't make the hurt any less.

Tyreese had his own demons, and Carol wasn't about to burden him with hers.

"I can take her, so you can get some rest," she gestured towards Judith.

"What about you? I haven't seen you able to sleep well since..." His voice trailed off. When was the last time this gray-haired woman had gotten a decent amount of sleep? What the post-apocalyptic standard was for a decent amount of sleep, at least.

"I'm awake now," she sighed. Her body told her she was exhausted, but her mind told her she was wide awake.

"I'll stay up with you then. Don't want to risk moving Judith in case she wakes up," he spoke softly as he looked down at the sleeping girl in his arms.

They both thought about how close they had been to losing her, before shaking that thought from their minds.

"It doesn't make sense for both of us to lose sleep," she said softly.

"I uh- still haven't been sleeping well," he replied. "It's about Karen once in a while, but lately it's about the governor… I hear screams and shots. I thought I was a goner, then I saw Lizzie and Mika standing there. Those girls had saved my life. And then, I just see- I see Lizzie standing there over Mika and-" Tyreese choked.

Carol placed her hand on his arm. "I keep dreaming about them too. I know that we couldn't have done anything for Lizzie, really, but I just keep thinking about it anyway, wondering if we could have done something different. We have to move forward though, if not for us or each other, then for Judith. We have to protect her and keep her safe."

Tyreese looked down at the sleeping girl in his arms and let a few tears escape. Carol wrapped her arms awkwardly around him and Judith, and shed her own tears, ready to get it out and trudge forward.

* * *

I know it's short, but I felt that this was where it should end, for this chapter.

Thank you for all the reviews… they're so encouraging and make me want to keep writing. I hope you all have a great day.


	3. Chapter 3

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: Spoilers for the Season 4 finale in this chapter. Also, note the rating has been bumped to M, to be on the safe side for now. **

**About the finale... I'm going to steer this fanfiction into what I hope will happen in the show. There's significance to the fact that Carol and Tyreese are not yet at Terminus, mark my words.**

**Our ship is still proudly sailing. :)**

**Look for the next chapter either today or tomorrow, hopefully. **

* * *

He'd been ready to leave, to walk away from Joe's group and be done with it. They had come across a small grouping of people, one of which had killed Lou. He knew what they were going to do, and he wanted no part of it. This was his chance to escape, unnoticed. Daryl was going to take the opportunity and run. In all the commotion, they wouldn't notice his absence for what Daryl hoped would be long enough to get away.

There was another part of him that just couldn't walk away. Then he found out the man that had killed Lou was _Rick. _His brother in every way but blood. He couldn't walk away now. He scanned the area quickly and noticed Carl and Michonne were with Rick as well.

"These are good people, you're gonna let them go," Daryl said in an attempt to diffuse the situation. Joe had a code, it might not be a code that Daryl agreed with, but he hoped it would be good enough, and he could possibly reason with Joe. They had seemed to get along, more or less.

"Now I think Lou would disagree with that. I'll of course have to speak for him and all since your friend here strangled him in a bathroom."

Daryl knew then that there was no way he'd be able to reason with Joe. He was out for blood, and he was going to get it, regardless of what Daryl said, but he had to try. He had to save his _family_. Rick had his children to take care of. Rick was a good man, he hadn't come this far for it to end here.

"You want blood, I get it," he stated calmly, setting his crossbow done in submission.

"Take it from me man." He could only hope that Joe would take him up on his offer, and let his family go. "Come on," he egged gently.

He could tell by the look on Joe's face that he had struck some sort of chord.

"This man killed our friend, you say he's good people. See now, that right there is a, is a lie," Joe said shakily. Daryl's heart sunk into the pit of his stomach. He knew from Len what happened to liars in this group. Hopefully it would be enough of a distraction to let Rick, Michonne and Carl get away.

"It's a lie!" He spoke with more conviction, as one of the group began their assault on him.

"Teach him fellas, teach him all the way," Joe encouraged, still pointing his gun at Rick. Daryl was trying to hold his own as he was getting the crap beat out of him. He couldn't give up, he had to keep fighting, trying to distract them, at the very least, even if it meant he didn't come out alive.

He heard Joe's voice start again, taunting Rick, forcing his blood to boil. It still wasn't enough for him to overpower the members of the group that had their attention focused on beating him to death.

Then it happened.

Rick bit Joe's throat out, and everyone got lost in the sheer shock of it. Daryl and Michonne recovered quickly though, able to take the upper hand.

They watched as Rick gutted the man who just seconds was about to rape Carl.

That was only half of the shit that had gone down. At least they had been able to get out of that situation. They trekked on to Terminus, and it was one bad situation turned into another.

Daryl had noticed the same things Rick had, Glenn's watch, _his_ poncho, among other things, but Rick reacted much quicker, letting his anger and adrenaline guide him.

Then they were getting shot at. Daryl realized they were being guided. They weren't shooting to hurt or kill, they were leading them somewhere, into a trap.

Fucking perfect.

That's how they ended up in the train car. Daryl wasn't surprised there were other people in there, but he was surprised to find out who those people were. For a split second he almost thought he'd see Carol among them, but was relieved she wasn't. At least she was still out there, with a better chance of surviving than they seemingly had.

"They're going to feel pretty stupid when they find out," Rick spoke up confidently. Daryl waited patiently for him to continue.

"Find out what," Abraham asked incredulously. Everyone watched Rick in disbelief, waiting to hear what he had to say.

"They're fucking with the wrong people,'' Rick finished with nothing but confidence and determination in his voice.

"And what makes you say that? You got a plan already? In case you haven't noticed, we're outnumbered and we're locked in a god damn train car,'' Abraham spat.

* * *

AN: Thank you everyone for the reviews, follows, favorites, etc. I appreciate all of your encouraging words. Feel free to send me a message, by the way, I'm always up to chatting about Caryl or The Walking Dead in general.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, they found themselves nearly to Terminus. Carol and Tyreese walked side by side with Judith sleeping on Tyreese's back. They had both been able to get some rest the previous night, but were still exhausted from being on the road again.

Finally, the gates to Terminus came into sight and they heard several gunshots. Carol looked to Tyreese and her face paled.

"Could be walkers," he offered.

"Could be something else," she replied skeptically.

"Sasha might be in there," Tyreese said. "I need to know," he said looking down.

"I know," she sympathized. She'd be lying to herself if part of her didn't hope Daryl was at Terminus with the others. After hearing the gunshots, she wasn't so sure if she wanted him there though.

"We have to approach this carefully, though. They could be like us at the prison, but they could also be another Woodberry," she said, trying to reason with him. Tyreese was generally very trusting and ready to go in.

Carol on the other hand, had learned through her own experiences not only after the apocalypse, but with Ed, that you couldn't trust people so easily, and had to be cautious. She wouldn't allow herself, Tyreese and Judith to walk into a trap.

"We should walk the perimeter first, see if we can find anything out," she said. "We'll have to be quick, those gunshots are going to draw any walkers into the area."

Tyreese agreed with her plan, and they began to walk the perimeter of the gates, looking in. They paused when they heard a voice shouting in the distance. They cautiously walked towards it, trying to remain hidden in the foliage.

Carol heard the words, "ring leader," "archer," and "samurai," and her heart dropped as she looked to Tyreese with wide eyes. She saw her own fear and recognition mirrored in him.

_Rick. Daryl. Michonne. _

"We have to do something," Tyreese said to her, echoing her thoughts. Her heart started to beat uncontrollably. It was beating so fast she started to shake. Daryl was in there, she was sure of it. And Rick and Michonne. Her thoughts were all over the place, starting to think of how she could get in there and get them out.

"I know, I know, but we have to play this right," she replied with a million thoughts racing through her mind. All she knew was she needed to get them out, and her heart leapt into her throat at the thought of Daryl.

She then heard a voice that was unmistakably Rick's and the fear that had been planted in her mind was confirmed, but so was her determination.

"I'm going in," Carol said without another second thought.

"What! You heard them firing shots at our friends and you're just going to go in there?" Tyreese's face hardened as he glared at her.

"I'm going to go in, weak and defenseless. Hopefully that will give me an advantage. I'd take Judith, but I can't risk it. You're going to stay here with her while I go in."

Carol made sure her knives were concealed under her clothing, and patted herself to see if they could be detected. Pleased when she realized they wouldn't be, she stood back up and faced Tyreese.

"You're going to stay with her, and you go, if you see anything suspicious or think we're in danger. You understand?" Carol said firmly, taking her gun out.

Tyreese gave in and nodded. "Good luck," he sighed. "Bring them out safe."

"That's the plan," she smiled as she walked away.

She made her way to the front gates and approached them hesitantly. There was no one there, but she could still hear noises coming from within Terminus. She gripped the gun in her hand more firmly and tried to control her breathing.

"Welcome to Terminus," she heard someone speak from behind her. She turned to see a woman standing there with what was supposed to be a warm and welcoming expression.

"I'm Mary, can I fix you a plate to eat?" She asked.

"No thank you," Carol responded. "I don't think I could eat right now," she answered honestly. "My name's Carol," she smiled at the woman and held out her hand.

"It's nice to meet you, Carol," the woman replied, shaking Carol's hand with a string grasp.

"I thought I heard some gunshots," she asked hesitantly, and with a worried look on her face.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that, just a couple walkers managed to get in. You must be tired, let me show you to a room," she said turning her back and starting to walk towards one of the buildings.

Carol followed her, taking in the surroundings. She saw a group of people walk towards them, and noticed that there was a girl wearing Daryl's poncho, a man wearing riot gear that looked to be from the prison, and another man that looked younger, leading the three of them. Carol once again tried to keep her breathing calm, and make sure that she feigned cluelessness.

"Mary, who is this?" He asked as he walked up to them.

"Her name's Carol, she just walked in, I was going to take her to a room. Did you take care of our little problem?"

"Oh yes, they won't be a problem anymore," he smiled. Carol had to admit he was a good-looking kid, but there was something off about him. "I'll take over, why don't you get back to the grill," he said to Mary before he turned to Carol.

"My name is Gareth, welcome to Terminus," he smiled widely. "How did you find us?" She saw his eyes flicker down to the gun in her hand.

"I was part of this small group, we got over run by walkers," she choked back a sob that she hoped sounded convincing, "I barely managed to escape. I was so scared, and I had to leave everything behind. I saw the signs and took two days traveling here."

"I'm sorry to hear that. You must be tired then," he sympathized. "I won't keep you. One thing though, I'd like to hold on to your gun," Gareth said as he held his hand out.

"Mary said you had walkers get in though," she said, praying to God that Gareth was believing her act. "I feel more comfortable with it."

He dropped his hand. "You don't need to worry about that, any breaches are taken care of within minutes, and we haven't had any deaths here in months. If it makes you more comfortable though, you can keep it."

"Thank you," she sighed in a breath of real relief. She did have her knives hidden on her, but it didn't hurt to have the gun too. It seemed like Gareth was trying to get on her good side. Good.

"Well, here we are, you can take this room. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask," he finished before leaving.

She stepped into the small room and looked around. It had a twin-size bed, and that was about it. Thankfully there was a window to make it less claustrophobic. She looked out and noticed there was someone guarding a red train car. Her instincts told her that's where they were being held captive. Where _Daryl_ was.

She had to push the thoughts of him away. She couldn't risk being distracted. She was on a mission, and couldn't afford to slip up. She paced the small room, wondering what her next move would be.

Before she knew it, it was nightfall and Terminus had finally quieted down. Someone had come to check up on her sometime ago, but she pretended to be asleep.

She glanced out the window and saw that there was a different person guarding the train car now. She didn't see anyone else around, and decided she had to act then. She took one of her knives out, and stuck it in the pocket of the sweater she was wearing for easy access.

She crept quietly out of the room and outside, while at the same time trying to make herself cry, or at least look like she was about to. Luckily she didn't run into anyone else. She stopped in her trucks the second she was outside though, when the voice of the guard called out to her.

"Hey, who are ya and what are ya doing out here?" The man guarding the train car asked, holding up his gun.

She held up her hands and whimpered. "Please don't hurt me, I just came in earlier today. Gareth gave me a room, and well I- I woke up from a nightmare," she sobbed. "I had to leave my group, they got overrun by walkers-" she choked on her words then and noticed the man's face soften as he lowered his gun.

"I just, I needed someone to talk to, and I saw you out here," she said walking until she was standing right in front of him.

"Aw hell lady, I'm sorry," he said running his hand over his hair. "C'mon, don't cry."

"I've just been so scared," she said as she put her face in her hands. "Damn," he muttered. He set down his gun and brought his arms around her. She sobbed into his chest, for a minute, as he stroked her back in an attempt to calm her down. She waited, making sure his guard was down before swiftly taking out her knife and stabbing him in the head as though he was a walker. She slowly let his body fall to the floor and looked around, making sure nobody was there. 

She grabbed the gun and opened up the train car. At first, she saw nothing but blackness before Rick walked up, with Daryl behind him. "Carol?" Rick asked.

Her breath caught in her throat. She felt a myriad of feelings, seeing their faces, but there was no time for that. She handed him the gun that came from the guard. She saw Daryl come up behind him. Their eyes met and she looked away. She had to focus on their safety first, and her feelings later.


	5. Chapter 5

Daryl wanted to bang his head against one of the walls of the train car. Abraham and Rick had been trying to come up with a strategy and they had been butting heads all day more than they had been agreeing.

He didn't know what to make of Abraham's group yet, but Glenn, Maggie, Bob and Sasha trusted them, which meant something. After everything they'd all seen and been through, it wasn't exactly easy to be warm and welcoming to new people. Hell, look at the mess they were in now.

He felt like something was off with the guy with the mullet who kept fidgeting, but he seemed harmless enough. The girl was constantly and annoyingly trying to defend Abraham. It was obvious they were "bumping uglies," as Merle would call it.

Rick had shared with the rest of them how he had buried the guns. OF course, Abraham flipped his lid and asked him how he expected to get to them. At one point when things got heated, the conversation got turned to everybody asking about the others who weren't with them. Sasha asked about Tyreese, Maggie about Beth, explaining that she had somehow hoped and believed she would find Beth with Glenn.

Maggie also explained about finding the bus.

Nobody dared to bring up Judith.

Just like nobody had asked about Carol after Rick had banished her. It was like she had never been there, never been part of their family, like she hadn't spent most of her time devoted to the group, doing whatever she could for everyone but herself.

Daryl shoved the thoughts aside, knowing he couldn't let his anger take over. He had to focus on getting out alive, with the others. They were still his family, regardless of how they had treated Carol. Besides, he'd be no good to Carol if he was dead.

After a while everyone fell into silence, lost in their thoughts.

They realized it had gotten quiet outside, and there was at least one man outside guarding the train car.

Then they heard a woman approach. A woman that sounded an awfully lot like Carol.

Daryl's stomach lurched and his heart flipped. He held his ear up to the wall, listening to the woman cry and explain how she had a nightmare. It couldn't be her, could it? There was no way. What were the chances of her making it to Terminus? The odds that she would find them were so slim… Then again, weren't the odds of the rest of them meeting up stacked against them? Maybe, just maybe…

Then before he knew it, there was complete silence before the door was slid open.

Rick walked up to it first, and Daryl came behind him.

His heart started to beat wildly, as he saw Carol standing there. Her blue eyes were red from the tears, her hair was a wild mess of curls that had begun to grow out, and he could see the exhaustion in her face, even though she was now wearing a small smile.

In that moment, he had never seen a sight more beautiful.

He had mixed feelings. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and never let her out of his sight. Then again, he wanted to tell her to run, to get away. To get far away from this place that just reeked evil.

Daryl couldn't get over the fact that she was there. He was flooded with all these thoughts and emotions he couldn't afford to feel. Not only did he have to get the rest of his family to safety, he now had to get _her_ to safety. He had to, there were no other options.

They were going to get out of this.

Daryl saw the emotions play out on Rick's face. "Carol?" Her eyes shined with tears again, as she looked from Rick, then to Daryl. Her eyes remained fixated on him for a moment, before she looked at Rick again.

"We have to go," she said, her words coming out in one breath, like they were all one long word. Slowly more people came up behind him, curious to see who had opened the door, and why.

Rick spoke up. "Abraham, Glenn and I are going with Carol, the rest of you stay here." He looked at Daryl, seeing the anger take over. "I need you here," he put a hand on Daryl's shoulder.

"That's bullshit," Daryl spat.

Rick sighed. "We have to move quickly. I don't… want you to be distracted," he said lowly, so that Carol couldn't hear him.

Daryl clenched his fists, but realized Rick had a point. He'd be distracted, especially knowing that it was Rick and Carol. He was going to have to trust Rick. He didn't like the thought of it, but there was no time for arguing. Rick, Abraham and Glenn hopped down from the train car. Carol gave Daryl one last look before Rick slid the door shut.

* * *

AN: Bear with me. Don't expect a bunch of action and stuff in this story. I'm really not good at that stuff, but I had to continue this, and I _had _to write about Carol saving the day. I hope you're not expecting too much out of this battle/escape from Terminus. The focus of this story is mainly Caryl, and their reunion.

If you haven't already, check out my other AU fic, Stay Safe. More Caryl goodness, and it seems to be the more popular one of the two.

I'm open to taking fic requests, just shoot me a message. I can't make any promises, but I'll try.

Also, I'm now on tumblr and twitter. Links are in my profile. I'd be super happy if you followed me.

Thank you, as always, for the reviews, favorites, follows, reads, etc. You guys are the best. Seriously. You motivate me to keep writing. I appreciate it so much.


	6. Chapter 6

Rick shakily approached Carol, after wracking his brain, wondering what he could possibly say or do to make up for what he had done to her. He was always trying to do what was best for the group, and at the time, he thought that was what he was doing. He should have known from past experience, that his decisions weren't always what was best, despite how he was saw it at the time.

He was afraid, that's what it had all come down to. He was afraid for his children, and the rest of their group that had become family, and a smaller part was afraid for Carol herself. Afraid of what Tyreese would do, and afraid because at the time, he thought he was seeing a new, apathetic side to her.

Of course, he should have known better. His incident with Joe had enlightened him. Carol wasn't apathetic at all, in fact, she was quite the opposite. Not only that, but she stepped up and did what had to be done to protect their group, their family, like she had been quietly –and without thanks- doing all along.

She had traveled with Tyreese, protected Judith like her own, and helped them take down Terminus even after the unforgivable mistake he had made. What he had initially mistaken for apathy was strength. Carol was a strong woman; he'd go so far as to say she was stronger than any of them.

Even Tyreese had found it in him to forgive her, and it was evident by the way they acted around each other that the two had made some sort of peace and were rekindling their friendship. Tyreese was even the first one to approach Rick, surprising him and telling him he needed to forgive Carol.

Before he could get near her, Daryl found him and blocked his path to her.

"Ya ain't kickin' her out again. Ya never should have in the first place. You're my brother, but if she goes, I go," he looked the man he considered his brother for all intents and purposes straight in the eyes.

"There's no need for that, Daryl. I just want to talk to her, that's all," Rick reassured him. Daryl eyed him warily, but stepped aside. Rick knew that Daryl wouldn't be letting Carol out of his eyesight while he was talking to her.

Knowing that there was something more between the two of them, Rick felt bad since they hadn't had a chance to talk yet, but Rick had wrongs he needed to at least attempt to make right, and he didn't feel like it could wait any longer.

"Can I at least say good-bye this time?" Carol stood up, bracing herself, as Rick came within mere feet of her. She had been waiting for this moment, even after what she had done for the group, how she had stood by them and eliminated the threat.

"No, no, I just want to talk to you. Is that alright?" He made a gesture, asking if he could sit down with her.

Carol nodded her head and sat back down, folding her hands in her lap, trying to keep them still. She had found her family again and had missed them sorely, but felt like she was now the black sheep, and she didn't feel entirely welcome as she was keeping to herself, some distance away from the group.

Daryl hadn't even approached her yet, which she had to admit saddened her. She had kept away, knowing that he would come to her when he was ready. What if Rick asked her to leave before that happened? She had barely talked to the other members of the group, everything had happened so fast with taking down Terminus and nobody dared to try and have a normal conversation yet. After taking down Terminus, everyone was exhausted, not to mention experiencing a myriad of emotions.

The whole apocalypse still nearly seemed like a dream, but after the downfall of the prison, everything had seemed wrong. Now that they were all together again, things weren't entirely alright, but they were bearable, because they had each other.

For Carol, that sense of wrongness had lasted longer than the others. She knew that what she had done wasn't what most people would have done. It wasn't something she herself wanted to do, but it was more of a fact that she had to do it. If everyone else had seen how badly they had progressed from that sickness…how they knew death was coming, and Karen and David had asked her to end their suffering…

It wasn't a decision taken lightly, it was a burden that weighed on her shoulders every day.

"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm really, truly sorry. I don't know what I was thinking…I- hadn't been myself. I understand why you did what you did. I want you to stay, we all do. We didn't appreciate everything you did for this group. You've been there from the beginning, you were there with Lori and," Rick started to choke up, the emotions becoming too much for him, the regret washing over him. "You kept Judith alive, even after what I did-"

"I love Judith," Carol said, stopping him. "Don't doubt that for a second. I love our family, and I'd do anything to protect her, to protect anyone standing here. I've had to make some tough decisions, but I _**always**_ did it with everyone else in mind."

"Tyreese mentioned Lizzie and Mika," Rick said hesitantly. When he saw the tears start to pool in her eyes, he regretted bringing it up. "I feel like if I hadn't kicked you out, maybe we would have known sooner, could have helped-"

Carol wiped furiously at her eyes, as though doing so would wipe away the wave of emotions that she didn't want to feel at the moment, with the mention of their names bearing hurt that hadn't had the chance to heal yet.

She silenced him by saying, "There's no point in thinking that way. You and I both know it. It doesn't get us anywhere. In this new life we've been forced into, there are so many what if's that we could spend more than the rest of our short lives pondering them all. Every decision we make is hard, but when it's done, it's done and we can't take it back. Everything we've done so far has brought us here, and that's what we have to think about now."

A tear fell down Rick's face, then another. "I tore a man's throat out with my teeth, Carol." She winced at the thought of it, but stayed silent so that Rick could continue. "He was going to- God, he was going to _hurt_ Carl." He couldn't bring himself to say rape, but by the look on Carol's face, he could tell that his emphasis on the word hurt had gotten his point across. "I didn't think, I just did it. I did the same thing _they_ do."

"You're not like them, Rick," she said placing her hands over his. "You did what you did to protect Carl, and he knows that."

"I guess, I'm trying to say that I _understand._ More than I did before… the lengths we go to, to protect the ones we love. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but-"

"It still hurts, thinking about that day. To think that you would think others were in danger because of me…"

Rick was about to start to say something when she continued. "It still hurts, but I want to give you another chance. You're still part of my family, and life is so short and unpredictable… I'm tired of wasting time. I don't want to waste it on anger, or feeling hurt. Speaking of wasting time, there's a certain someone I need to talk to…"

* * *

AN: -crickets- Hello? Anyone out there?

I feel absolutely horrible for how long it has been since I updated this, and rather than give you a litany of excuses and apologies, I'm just going to say that I'm sorry, and hope that I still have some fans out there. Speaking of fans, I'm so thankful for everyone who has read and reviewed this. The reviews are just wonderful and really encourage me to keep writing. Even if you say "great story," I really appreciate everyone who has taken the time to tell me that so far.

Next chapter (which won't have quite so long of a wait) will be the Caryl reunion. I'm nervous for it, not going to lie, because I really want to do it justice, because let's face it, that's the reason y'all are reading. Am I right, or am I right?


	7. Chapter 7

As soon as they were behind closed doors, Daryl set his crossbow down and pulled Carol into a near bone-crushing hug. He buried his face into her neck, feeling the soft skin there against his face. When his lips met her skin, he couldn't stop himself from placing soft kisses from the top of her neck down to her collar bone.

"We can talk later," Carol said breathily, feeling the heat pool in her core and throughout her body, forgetting what she had even wanted to talk about.

"Later," Daryl agreed before crushing his lips against hers. His hand slid up her shirt from behind, pulling her closer to him. Carol's hands gripped the back of his vest, before running them up and down his bare arms, feeling his muscles tighten under the contact. She pulled away enough to take his vest off of him, before starting to undress herself.

They weren't able to strip their clothes as easily as they wanted to. Now that danger was lurking everywhere, weapons were strapped to each other in all sorts of places. Guns and knives had to be removed, one of the challenges of being intimate in a post-apocalyptic world.

When both of them had been stripped bare, weapons and clothes, Daryl laid Carol on the bed, climbing on top of her, and showering her body in a mix of feather light kisses and licks. He stopped at her breasts, gazing hungrily at them before taking one into his mouth, hand gripping and squeezing it, while his other hand came up to do the same to its twin.

Daryl let out a growl, hearing Carol's soft moans and pleas.

"Daryl, please," she panted. "Waited long enough…," she sighed as she placed her palms on his face and brought it up to hers, kissing him as he entered her in one smooth, hard glide. She broke her mouth from his to let out a moan.

He started to move in and out, and her hand flew to his back, scraping her nails across his skin as she chanted his name. He thrust harder into her, hitting her deeper and hearing her moans become louder as he rocked back and forth into her. Her hands flew to his ass, gripping it in her hands and pulling him even closer.

He felt it get tighter and wetter around his member as she came. It only took a few more thrusts before he came apart inside of her only moments after, falling on top of her. Her arms went around him, and she covered him in light kisses, brushing his hair out of the way, before running her fingers through his hair as they lay there. He nuzzled her neck and placed a few kisses there before lifting himself up to look at her.

"Missed ya, woman," he said softly. Carol smiled, her eyes shining with tears and brought her lips up to his, unable to get enough of him.

"Never lettin' ya outta my sight again," he said before lowering his head and nuzzling her neck.

"You better not," she wrapped her arms around him.

* * *

AN: Short chapter, but there it is. This is only my second time with smut so... yeah. I hope I didn't do too bad. If this happened on the show, I can't say I'd be disappointed.

Thank you for all that have followed along on this story and reviewed, I really hope I haven't disappointed with this last chapter. Now that I have finished this and Demons, I feel quite relieved. Of course, I went and started another one, Three Months, so you should totally go check it out. ;)

Thank you again, thank you all so much.


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